Gillette's Venus Embrace: Not the Best a Woman Can Get.

When the beauty gods delivered the Schick Quattro to my doorstep, I gladly surrendered my trusty Intuition razor in the name of beauty editing duty. Having been fondly surprised by the former arrival, I now alternate between the two, depending on if I need to lather some extra love on my legs (Intuition) or if I'm going for pure and simple hotness (Quattro). I was equally as hopeful about the Embrace but sadly can not report anything worthwhile. The one entertaining factor is that the Embrace, which tries hard - with an unprecedented five blades - mimics the sound of the shower squeegees revered by compulsively clean bathroom dwellers nationwide. Besides that I found the disposable BIC razor in my stall this morning at the day spa more adept and functional. Though I'm going to stick with my Quattro/Intuition Combo there are tons of total beauty ladies who love the embrace. Check out their, clearly more favorable, reviews.

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Schick Quattro; clearly made by a leg man

I professed my undying love of the Schick Intuition to you back in February. Apparently someone thought to challenge my declaration of the Intuition as the number one women's razor. The quadruple bladed, hot pink and silver grooming device, which actually resembles a man's knife in form and weight, arrived conspicuously in my mailbox four weeks ago. Determined to stay loyal to the intuition, I decided to give this showy little Quattro a run for its money. I didn't shave for a full seven days. Not exaggerating. I honestly don't know what possessed me to run such a dowdy experiment other than sheer defiance. Take that, fancy gimmicky razor...who needs four blades anyway? Really!

But after three weeks of sacrificing my curviest feature's normal routine and using only the Quattro I must tuck my metaphorical tail between my clean-shaven legs and admit it. The Quattro is excellent. In the voice of a parent trying desperately to be fair despite an obviously greater , if irrational, affection for one child, I love them both equally just in different ways. And here is how. The intuition is a woman's razor. Shapely, soft, no extra lathering devise needed. It's a working woman's dream. It gets the job done every day.

The Quattro on the other hand was designed by a man wielding a Kershaw knife in one hand, an oily rag stuffed into the back pocket of his Carhart overalls, and a wicked grin as he describes the irreplaceable sexual value of a woman's glossy gams. (And if this fictional Australian cowboy did in fact invent the Quattro for women I think his description of his motivations would be much more succinct and vulgar.)

To put it bluntly, if you want the hottest smoothest legs ever, this is your razor. Even on day two after a Quattro shave you will still have the hottest smoothest legs ever. (Wink from the cowboy) Unlike the Intuition, you do have to provide your own lubrication. But again this razor is not made for the working woman this razor is made for only one thing. Yee-haw.

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Schick Intuition: A smorgasbord of women delight in this popular instrument.

At the age of 23 my intuition, nudged by kismet, led me to move to North Carolina. I was considering leaving behind my nascent but promising professional career, and in an instant an episode of Dawson’s creek and a James Taylor song came together and I just knew: North Carolina (which up until that point had only been my vacation state) was to become my home state. Following my intuition turned out to be the best decision I have ever made. A few months later (while digging myself out the hole of my quarter-life crisis) I found myself working with Nancy, an adorable hippy child who surprisingly enough introduced to one of my favorite beauty secrets – Intuition the non-disposable razor. Nancy was the kind of fun loving hippie girl with long blond curly hair who often picked up and moved to the islands, or Florida, and who often spent four day weekends following various grateful dead mutations around the country. I was complaining to Nancy one day how nothing compared to getting my legs waxed. I hadn’t shaved my legs since college started five years earlier because I was so dedicated to just having my long oddly shaped legs waxed. My parents believed in a good education and at the time I believed those expenses included bi-weekly trips to a fairly expensive day spa. I never had to shave. And I just couldn’t get into it even thought my budget now required me to learn to shave my legs. Nancy told me that all I’d ever need was the intuition razor. She said she couldn’t get through “shows” with out it. Her shows lasted three days, had no running water, and the tent community living quarters resembled African refugee camps. If she was getting smooth legs in the middle of all this I knew she had the beauty secret equivalent of Willy Wonka’s golden ticket. That was 4 years ago and I haven’t had stubbly legs since. In fact using intuition takes less than four minutes. No cuts - and with legs like mine that is miraculous. I think god was imagining curvy long country roads when he made my legs. In fact I often ponder the architectural stability of such curvy legs. Like the leaning tower of Pisa, they truly look as if they should have collapsed long ago. But this razor has lovely colored blue rubber grips and all of the moisturizer included. In four years I’ve had maybe 7 cuts. Hippie girls and professional girls alike can all get down with this razor. It’s better for the environment because you don’t throw away the whole thing (just replace the soap/razor cartridge) and it’s so much less expensive than waxing, at about $20 a month. Nancy still goes to shows. I have moved on but I think of her almost every night while shaving my legs and I’m so glad my intuition led me to her and to, well, Intuition.

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